


down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on

by faithistic



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Groundhog Day, Hinata is so done with everything, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Spoilers, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:07:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithistic/pseuds/faithistic
Summary: This time, Hinata assures himself, he’ll reach Komaeda before he puts his plan into fruition. At another time, perhaps, he would ruminate on why Komaeda insisted onstilldoing this, even after all this time they’ve spent suffering, suffering through this together, but he was sure he already knew the answer to that hopelessly plaintive question.Komaeda could die as many times as he liked, and Hinata could hardly do anything to stop him.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 112
Kudos: 385





	1. dark clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to this fanfic, my fellow Komahina fans.  
> First up, thank you for checking this out and deciding to give it a read, it means a lot to me! I’d been wanting to write something else for a long while but wasn’t really sure what to write to get myself back into it. I also haven’t written a long fic for a while so this’ll be interesting.
> 
> A couple of important things to note is that I have terrible motivation problems, but i’ll try and update this fic as often as I can (im also doing a certificate course too irl so i’ll try and balance my time). The chapter limit is mainly a milestone that im aiming to reach, so im sure that isn’t the exact number. I originally planned for each chapter to contain around 5K words each, but i’ve brought it down to 2K-4K, because my motivation SUCKS and im taking small bites to start off with, longer chapters might come when i start warming up.
> 
> Think thats everything (?) so now that i’ve put that all out there, hope you enjoy reading! <3

* * *

When Hinata woke up one morning, staring up at his unimpressive, wooden ceiling, he willed himself to go back to sleep. He wished he’d never woken up at all.

Today was going to be a day of misery, Hinata told himself gloomily, because first of all it was  _Monday_ _,_ and he despised Monday’s with a wholehearted passion. Second, his body was drenched in sweat, because the night had been  _hot_ _._ His covers were all over the place, and Hinata was sure he’d been at the other end of his bed at some point, but he fortunately didn’t have any proof to back that suspicion up.

Getting out of his bed was a challenge everyday, but today he had no utter motivation to do that, so it felt even harder to leave his comfortable mattress and trod his way over to his bathroom to take a cold shower. He was glad that he did though, because he was relived to get rid of the uncomfortable sheet of sweat sticking to his back through his pyjamas. Why did it have to be so fucking hot on this island?

Hinata got changed, cursing profanities internally about how he generally hated the weather  _(and Monokuma, while he was at it)_ and swung his door open to make his way to breakfast. He did his hair on the way, ruffling his fingers through the wet strands in an attempt to dry them out. He needed a good cup of coffee before he could contemplate any complex thought, so when he passed Komaeda he made sure to suddenly find the floor very interesting, not having time for his shenanigans on this early morning. His silent plead was not heard.

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda greeted, sounding too chipper for this time of morning — he always did, somehow. “Gosh, this weather doesn’t look too good, does it?”

Hinata took his eyes of the ground and cast them upwards. The sky was covered with dark, grey clouds. It looked like it was going to rain, but the hot humidity in the air was sending Hinata mixed signals. Great. Absolutely perfect.

“I guess so.” Hinata said. He was almost certain that Monokuma could change the weather to bid his will, so he started to feel slightly nauseated. Why would Monokuma need to change the weather? He sped up his pace while Komaeda chatted his ear off about how unlucky this day was going to be for him.

“—so it wouldn’t surprise me if those grey clouds are thunderstorm clouds, Hinata-kun, maybe it would be best if you find shelter indoors today. A symbol of hope like yourself, getting struck by a mere shard of electricity... a death like that would upset me greatly.”

Hinata then began praying that a lightning bolt would miraculously strike him down just to piss off Komaeda. “How so?” He asked, watching as Komaeda’s grey-green eyes focused on him.

“Monokuma seems to have a considerate amount of control over this island, Hinata-kun, which means a death like that would  _ not  _ be for the sake of hope if it’s influenced by Monokuma’s actions.” Komaeda said strongly, the wisps of his hair shaking with his firm movement, “And as much as it would disappointment me greatly... a death as worthless as that, as un-hopeful as that... would cause such despair, a despair for you Ultimates to overcome... yes...”

Huffing a breath and shaking his head, Hinata opened the door to the hotel. Spending time with Komaeda was always so stressful and somehow intriguing at the same time. The former was always the more apparent answer, but nonetheless, the latter peeked through whenever it could. Or whenever Hinata allowed it to.

Komaeda followed Hinata through the door like a lamb to its mother, sighing breathily. Hinata liked to think he was getting better at reading Komaeda’s strange moods, so he assumed Komaeda was currently thinking about something graphic, like dying. Or hope. It felt strange for Hinata to lump those two thoughts into the same category, but that was Komaeda for you.

They climbed together and split up when they arrived in the restaurant, Komaeda scurrying off to sit in a secluded seat at the furthest table he could possibly find, like usual  _(Hinata had asked him about that once, and Komaeda had replied with saying, “I’m not worthy to sit amongst you all, Hinata-kun, but thank you for your hospitality, however unnecessary it may be.” He was just trying to be nice, but alright then)._ Hinata sat himself down next to Chiaki, who was successfully multitasking by eating and buttering her toast while staying alive in space invaders.

Hinata tuned himself into the loudest conversation at the table, which was, surprisingly, Kuzuryu and Sonia, who were chatting about the struggles of their families high expectations for them. Hinata wished he could relate. All well.

“The prowling fog clouds over our unsuspecting sky.” Tanaka suddenly whispered ominously, “Only the Evil Fourth Eye shall know why today we have been gifted with a mysterious dark fog.”

“Can’t you just speak  normally?  For  _ once?”  _ Souda said, stabbing his meat violently and shoving it into his mouth. Sonia grimaced. “And it’s just a couple of clouds, big deal!”

“Silence, you fiend!” Sonia called out, and Souda shrunk down in his chair, “I do believe Gundham has a valid point! The weather on Jabberwock has remained stable, with rare cases of cloudy weather, but none ever like this!”

“Maybe it’s just a cloudy day? Or there’s been a nearby storm?” Kuzuryu suggested with a shrug, biting into an apple, “Or maybe our lucks finally run out, and were due for a storm.”

Ah, of course. Hinata could practically  _ feel  _ Komaeda vibrating away in the corner of the room at that, wanting to add on, to probably claim the weather was  _his_ fault and that his luck was so terrible that we all have to bear his burden, but Monokuma suddenly appearing at the table interrupted before Komaeda could do so.

“You really need to stop doing that!” Souda shrieked, dropping his glass of cranberry juice. Hinata had kind-of gotten numb to Monokuma’s strange appearances out of thin-air by now, and he’d stopped wondering how on earth the bear did it, but he still couldn’t stop from jumping when he actually  saw him there.

Monokuma rubbed his chin with his paw. “Geez, stop doing what?” He gasped, pulling his face into a pout. “Aren’t I allowed to come visit my  favourite bunch of chums whenever I like? No need to be so cruel!” He said, proceeding to make loud, over-dramatic sobs, “I _was_ going  to give you all some advice, maybe beat you down a little while I was at it since I can’t find Monomi, but now I don’t think I will!”

“We don’t need your advice.” Said Kuzuryu bitterly, “None of us give a shit.”

Jumping off the table, Monokuma waddled away with a careless shrug. “I’m so hurt... is what I would say. But I don’t care either, so we’re all even on that one.”

Though Hinata found something he said earlier a little strange. “Why can’t you find Monomi?”

“Because I can’t be bothered to go look for her!” Monokuma replied, spinning back around. Everyone else collectively groaned, wishing he would just leave already, but Hinata ignored them in favour of worming an answer out of Monokuma. Any answers were better than none, Hinata concluded.

“Don’t you have security cameras everywhere, though?” He asked him enquiringly, “Can’t you just find her with those?”

“Wow, who do you think you are, Mr. Detective? You think I don’t value privacy?” Said Monokuma, placing one of his tiny paws on his chest in feigning innocence. “You wanna go snoop around in other people’s business, Hinata? Are you both a pervert  _ and  _ a Tsundare, I wonder? Ohohoho, I bet you are!”

“Hinata’s a  _ Tsundare?”  _ Souda said, rubbing his neck with the palm of his hand. His mouth formed an ‘O’ shape as if he’d just come to a realisation. “Oh man, that explains—“

“That’s not what I was talking about!” Hinata huffed, crossing his arms. Man, he just  _knew_ Monokuma wasn’t going to drop that so easily. And now everyone else was going to start bringing that up. This day really wasn’t starting off so well, huh?

Monokuma chuckled, sliding in next to Hinata, who wished he was currently anywhere else but here right now. “Oh, what were you talking about?  _ I  _ thought we were having a nice little conversation about privacy and how you don’t value it!”

“And yet you’re the one with the cameras everywhere.” Hinata muttered hotly in one short breath. Monokuma was dodging his questions, he just knew it. “I’m asking why you don’t just... find Monomi with them, since you’ve got them everywhere!”

“Hinata, Hinata,” Monokuma said, shaking his ears — Hinata couldn’t tell if it was in glee or anger. “Y’know, you’re really annoying for pointing something like that out. Oh, you’re so clever, you!”

Monokuma leaned over and pinched Hinata on the cheek harrowingly. He could feel the silent message behind the implication;  _ stop talking and drop it.  _ Hinata, deciding for the sake of his limbs and maybe even his life, it would be better to let go of the topic for now. He begrudgingly obliged.

Afterwards, Monokuma disappeared once again  _ (“He didn’t even tell us what he came here to tell us!” Souda called angrily)  _ while everyone seemed to take that as a sign to disband for now and try and enjoy their day as best they could. How one could even  enjoy  a day on this wretched island will forever be a mystery to Hinata, but he saw the appeal in drowning oneself in  _(the fucking ocean)_ food and friends and fun games to take the strain off the situation. Presuming he might as well do the same, Hinata set off to his cabin, passing Owari and a newly-metallic Nidai.

It was still odd even seeing him here, actually; it was only  yesterday that they’d lost three of their friends. As much as it was a relief to see Nidai here, Hinata couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet longing, a longing for all the others they’d lost to come back too. He knew it obviously wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, but the desire for it was still there, in all its saddening glory. Hinata’s chest burned.

He arrived back at his cabin, standing in front of his wooden door. He wasn’t sure why he’d even come here. Comfort, maybe? Perhaps, since the only place he ever felt at peace was his cabin and the library. Sometimes. Whenever Komaeda isn’t there.

Speaking of Komaeda, Hinata noticed him humming along around the pool, sitting himself down at the edge. He was probably hoping someone would push him in or something cryptic, so Hinata took it upon himself to head over and keep an eye on him.Someone had to do it, so he liked to think he was taking one for the team right now.

Komaeda perked up when he noticed Hinata approaching him. “Hinata-kun, hello.” He said happily, beaming over at him. It was social protocol that made him smile back. He never knew how to respond to Komaeda’s overwhelming positivity and happiness at such inadequate moments. “What a nice surprise, seeing you here. How lucky of me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Hinata said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. The only thing he found in there was a loose thread.

“You know I wouldn’t, Hinata-kun. I’m far too undeserving of any form of self-praise.” Komaeda replied, slipping his feet into the cool water below him. He was still wearing his shoes, but one look at Komaeda’s bright face would tell you that he really didn’t care. Hinata kind-of wished he had that mentality, but it was coming from Komaeda, so he snorted instead, taking a tentative seat beside him.

The two of them basked in a rare moment of silence for a couple of minutes, before Komaeda piped up, “I thought you were right to question Monokuma.”

Hinata waited for Komaeda to add to his sentence, but when Komaeda simply swished his feet with a small smile he figured that was all he was getting from him. At least it was better than nothing.

“He was avoiding my question, which he usually does, but...” Hinata exclaimed, shrugging his shoulders wearily, “I just hoped I could’ve gotten an answer from him this time.”

Komaeda murmured softly in agreement, swinging his feet childishly. It was amusing to watch him splash water on himself and a bit on Hinata, but it was... disheartening to know that he was so  happy.  He was always strangely joyful right after trials that it was unnerving.

Hinata hauled himself to his feet. He’d decided what he wanted to do till dinner — sleep.  _ I’ll just leave Komaeda here,  _ he thought to himself as he hurried off to his cabin in a flurry,  _ when I word it like that, it sounds like i’m talking about a dog. _

Well, Komaeda wasn’t harming anyone right now. He should take advantage of his decent mood to catch up on some sleep. Hinata rubbed his eyes, opening up his cabin.

The grey clouds loomed over dangerously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting off with a 2K chapter to make sure I don’t scare myself too much.
> 
> You can find me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


	2. your yesterday is my today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters here, woohoo! I’m not sure how often this fic will be updated, but i’m trying as often as I can. I get distracted easily lmao- but anyway, hope you enjoy!

* * *

Hinata thinks he hates everyone.

Apparently no one on this island values his own personal sanity, because Hinata had only slept for thirty-six minutes before Sonia was knocking on his door, asking if he wanted to come down to the beach. Stretching groggily, Hinata had obliged, only because Sonia seemed so eager about him coming along.

So here he was, sitting on the surprisingly soft sand of Jabberwock beach, only half conscious. If he’d had more brain power he would of brought along his towel so he could lay down and continue his nap. He didn’t want sand all through his hair. It was always a nightmare to get out. He made do with laying against a nearby tree just before the sand, having a decent view of the ocean. Hinata always found it a shame that they were inhabiting such a breathtaking island under horrific circumstances, but in peaceful moments like these he could appreciate the scenery. Even if the weather was currently terrible. They all needed the break though, so the weather be damned.

Sonia came around to offer him a juice box, but apart from that everyone seemed to leave him alone. Owari, Nidai, Souda and Chiaki were swimming and running through the water, while Kuzuryu, Sonia and Tanaka hung around on the sand. The only person noticeably missing was Komaeda, and Sonia seemed to notice this as well, because she disappeared for a long while and returned practically dragging Komaeda to the scene, who wasn’t refusing her protests, but was wholeheartedly discouraging them.

“I don’t think it would be wise for me to accompany you all, Sonia-san,” Hinata heard him saying, “Today hasn’t been a very good day for me, surely my luck—“

But Sonia wasn’t taking no for an answer. Komaeda seemed to realise her determination, so he eventually gave in, hovering suspiciously around Hinata for the remainder of the outing. Hinata wished he could have a break from Komaeda, but it seemed he was destined to always deal with him. He was quite pleased that Komaeda didn’t come over to annoy him though, like practically everyone else did at some point, so he guessed that was a nice plus.

All was well. Until they were ready to leave.

They began packing up all their excess stuff, which wasn’t that much, so Komaeda volunteered to carry it all back up to the hotel. Hinata knew it was a bad idea the second Komaeda put it forward. And it was.

Halfway there, Komaeda’s elbow gave in. Everything he was holding fell from his arms; Kuzuryu, who was the closest to him at the time, unfortunately was in the crossfire of Komaeda’s accident, and everything seemed to land all over him. Kuzuryu made a high-pitched sound that later on he would profoundly deny, while Komaeda heartily apologised over and over, rushing to grab all the beach towels and bottles of lotion that’d fallen from his lanky arms.

“I said it’s fucking _fine.”_ Kuzuryu grumbled — the Kuzuryu they’d first met would’ve never brushed something like this off so easily. “So just shut up and  _ walk  _ already .”

Komaeda did walk. He shuffled towards the front of the group, Nidai offering to take some of the load out of Komaeda’s arms. He was incredibly thankful, but that didn’t seem to stop the last accident from occurring.

Komaeda really wasn’t having a good day today. Hinata genuinely felt sorry for him.

He wasn’t even sure what Komaeda tripped over in the first place. First, he was walking along, chatting to Chiaki, then the next second Komaeda was crashing into him with his arms outstretched, attempting to catch what he’d dropped for a  _ second  _ time. Hinata couldn’t keep up with his vision, so he stumbled, caught off guard, and pushed a disoriented Komaeda off him.

“Hinata-kun! I’m so _sorry!”_ Komaeda gasped. He was acting like this was the biggest mistake he’d ever made in his life. “Oh, this isn’t good. I _knew_ this wasn’t a good idea... my luck is screwing everything up...”

Komaeda dropped to his knees to pick up the many scattered towels, but Hinata beat him to it, scooping up the towels and lotions.

“You  _shouldn’t_ have to carry them.” Protested Komaeda for the third time, as they walked back to the hotel, “Someone like me, of my status, should be perfectly capable of carrying something as simple as beach towels... I’m so — incompetent, Hinata-kun — so despicable—“

“You’re not.” Hinata said, tuning Komaeda’s counter-arguments out. It was like talking to a brick wall when it came to Komaeda’s self-worth. Hinata had grown tired of arguing back.

They arrived back at the hotel, so Hinata handed everyone their towels while they enjoyed a peaceful, Monokuma-free lunch. Hinata sat himself between Owari and Souda, helping himself to the food available. He participated in some forms of conversation that were floating across the tables, but otherwise he simply ate and then left to spend some much-needed time to himself. Hinata wouldn’t exactly call himself the most social person, so he needed his wind-down time.

The afternoon flew by so quickly that it shocked him. All he’d done was read, walk around the island, notice Monokuma then immediately switch directions, head back to his cabin, sleep, and then spend some time in the lobby playing video games with Chiaki until evening. Hinata hadn’t noticed what time it was due to the shockingly grey clouds still covering their sky. It was impossible to simply look outside and see where the sun was... wait, who even did that anymore? Well, Hinata did. Maybe he was just old-schooled.

When dinner rolled around Monokuma appeared suddenly again, informing them all that he had something very special planned for them tomorrow, so they all better be up bright and early. His tone of voice sent shivers down Hinata’s spine. The way Monokuma worded it assured them that they had a  _ choice,  _ but they all knew that was wishful thinking, and it was too good to be true. Decide to go or not, they would have to comply with Monokuma’s wishes anyway. He hated being toyed with, the thought made him sick in the stomach, but he had no choice. They all had no choice.

After dinner, Hinata found himself sluggishly trodding back to his cabin. He felt like he was still recovering from the events that transpired yesterday; Mioda and Saionji’s deaths... and Tsumiki...

He firmly shook his head. No, he couldn’t be getting caught up on what had happened now. Everything would come crashing down if he thought about it too much. Hinata inhaled deeply.

He stopped and spoke to Owari briefly just before reaching his cabin, swiftly unlocking it... well, it wasn’t locked anyway. Mioda had broken it, hadn’t she? He needed to ask Souda to fix it up. It could pose to be a problem in the future.

Hinata’s legs gave way as he drowsily dropped down onto his mattress, exhausted. He just wanted some fucking _peace,_ which he was glad for, but he wasn’t sure how long it was going to last. When he’d run into Monokuma earlier he looked as carefree as he usually did, but his smile felt more twisted then Hinata had yet seen, even if he was just a stuffed animal. He didn’t trust that smile.

He eventually dropped off, worrying what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

Hinata woke up, drenched in sweat again. He swore Monokuma was doing this on purpose now, just to piss him off. Fucking stuffed animal.

Finishing his morning routine, Hinata left his cabin and headed over to breakfast. He rubbed his eyes, so caught up in his own head that he didn’t notice Komaeda approaching him until he spoke.

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!” He said brightly — Hinata got a strange sense of déjà vu. “This weather is quite splendid, isn’t it?”

“Um, yeah.” Hinata replied, sighing and staring up to meet the familiar blue sky he was accustomed to seeing.

There wasn’t a cloud in sight.

“We should go,” Hinata said, shrugging off the shiver that just lapsed down his spine at that conclusion. “Monokuma said he wanted us all there early, for whatever fucking reason. Let’s just get this over with.” He huffed, striding over to the hotel with Komaeda on his trail. His brain supplied the image of Komaeda as a dog, but he smothered the thought with a humorous laugh. He really acted like one sometimes, always following him or another Ultimate around, wondering off on his own and causing everyone else to worry where he’d gone off to, always annoying him when he wanted some peace and quiet—

“Would it bother you, Hinata-kun, if I asked what’s on your mind?” Komaeda asked carefully, blinking at Hinata owlishly. He always looked so strangely innocent when he did that, “You’ve got a pleasant smile on your face that I haven’t seen you wear in quite some time. I know it’s incredibly selfish of me, but perhaps talking about it will heighten your happiness?”

The request was odd, even for someone like Komaeda, and Hinata wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. It was just a dumb thought, really. Komaeda wouldn’t even take offence if he told him, and he opened his mouth to do so, but a split-second later he decided against it. A wild thought entered his head.

Komaeda cared about his personal happiness? It made sense, but it didn’t. Of course he  _ would,  _ he cared about them all as  _ Ultimates,  _ right? As talented people, symbols of hope, not necessarily people. It was clear to Hinata in the way he talked about them all, and yet that was the part that refused to make sense. He held them all in such high regard, even himself, even when neither of them knew what kind of talent Hinata possessed. Maybe Komaeda just cared about his performance. If he was moping about constantly, it wouldn’t be very  _Ultimate-y_ of him. After arriving at that conclusion, Hinata  _ thinks  _ he understands; if he’s not happy, he’s not... being hopeful? I guess? It all lead back to hope with Komaeda, didn’t it?

Maybe he’s just reading into this too much. Hinata waved Komaeda off and ushered them both through the door and up to breakfast.

Sitting himself down, Hinata found himself falling into an easy routine. He ate breakfast, drank his coffee, participated in conversation that was oddly familiar... well, there wasn’t really that much to talk about nowadays, anyway.

“Where’s Monokuma?” Hinata asked Chiaki, who was buttering her toast; didn’t she have toast yesterday?

“Hmm? Monokuma?” Chiaki replied absentmindedly, eyes not leaving her console, “I don’t know... why do you ask?”

Hinata sighs, wondering when his coffee is going to kick in, “He said yesterday that he wanted to speak with us?” He said, and at Chiaki’s look of utter confusion he added, a bit unsurely, “Maybe he was just pulling our leg.”

Chiaki hummed out a  _ perhaps  _ and continued her game in silence. Hinata didn’t try to engage her in any more conversations after that. He didn’t have an appetite anymore.

Monokuma showed up again, and Souda jumped out of his skin with a shrieking  _ ‘You really need to stop doing that!’  _ and dropping his cranberry juice. Hinata rubbed his eyes, starting to develop a headache.

“Geez, stop doing what?” Monokuma said like he had yesterday, “Aren’t I allowed to come visit my favourite bunch of chums whenever I like? No need to be so cruel!”

Monokuma then made a couple of comedic sobbing noises to add for affect, and Hinata really wanted to know why no one else was finding all of this strange. Sure, the days do sometimes blend together all in a blur, but he can still differentiate that they were all  _ different,  _ because he knew he made an effort to make them so. Sometimes he’d go to the library, or stay at the hotel, or his cabin, and he’d hang out with different people each time. The conversations exchanged over breakfast were always quite different too. He couldn’t believe he’d shrugged that off... it was definitely strange.

“What did you come here to tell us?” Hinata asked, wondering if this was some elaborate setup, or if Monokuma had somehow done something... to make everyone forget? He wouldn’t put it past Monokuma to be able to do something like that. Was that what this was? Maybe he’d managed to erase all of yesterday from everyone’s minds?  _ Can  _ Monokuma do that? If so, how often was he doing it? Why did Hinata remember? Why can he still—

“What I came here to tell you?” Monokuma repeated back dumbly. “Oh, just came here to say that I want you all in bed early today! Y’know, because I  _ care  _ about you all soooo much, and I want you all up nice and early tomorrow! That’s right, your great pal Monokuma is going to open up another island for you all! Aren’t I kind? You’re welcome!”

“Didn’t you tell us the same thing  _ yesterday?  _ To be up  _ bright and early,”  _ Hinata said, his mind racing, “What are you scheming?”

“Yesterday?” Owari spoke through a mouthful of food, “I don’t remember Monokuma sayin’ the same thing yesterday.”

“You alright, dude?” Souda said, glancing at Hinata in suspicion.

“I’m perfectly  _ fine.”  _ Hinata huffed out gruffly, brushing off their unnecessary concern and confusion. He was sure he was fine, at least.

Monokuma rubbed his belly, seemingly completely uninterested, “Did you know I’m actually made of yeast? Uh-huh, I’m actually really stretchy! And I’ll tell you now, I stretch to the  _ extremes  _ sometimes, Hinata, but I wouldn’t stretch myself out too early to spoil the fun! It’s like kneading dough... you gotta start off nice and slow, make sure you get the texture just right... you can’t rush these things, and I would _never_ tell you something ahead of my carefully laid-out plan! That would ruin my masterpiece! It’d be  _ bread-ful,  _ puhuhuhuhu!”

“Then why—“ Hinata began loudly, but he instead cut himself off and exhaled sharply out from his nose. Monokuma was always good at riling him up, getting under his skin. He can’t let him get the rise out of him, and he was certain something was going on. He just had no clue what on earth it was.

Hinata felt a tap against his leg, and he almost jumped out of his skin when he realised it was Monokuma, tapping him like he was hollow. “Helllooo? Where’s the smart guy at, huh? Use that small brain of yours, Hinata! Wow, maybe you’ve caught the Despair Disease!”

“I haven’t!” Hinata cried, but he placed a palm up to his forehead, anyway, just to be safe. He certain he didn’t have a fever, but he was still worried he might be going insane. Maybe he already was. Weren’t they all? “Just — this isn’t making sense. Never mind.” Hinata mumbled tiredly, figuring it would be better if he stopped talking.

Perhaps he was just overreacting. Maybe that was it, and the days really were blending together in his brain.

Even though he’d just woken up, he felt like he already needed a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically a summery for the entirety of this fic.
> 
> Hinata: hey Komaeda, whatcha have there?  
> Komaeda, sprinting past Hinata: a knife!  
> Hinata, dropping everything and charging after him: nO-
> 
> You can find and yell at me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


	3. like a circle, we go around again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I aimed to have this chapter be 3K, but like I didn’t... so next chapter i’ll crank up to 3K lol. Oooo yeah plotplotplotplotplotplot-
> 
> Hope you enjoy!! (I have too much fun writing Monokuma)

* * *

The day passed by all in one strange blur.

Things kept happening that Hinata couldn’t find an explanation for. I mean, sure, life on this island was always weird, but this was _really_ weird. The weird part was no one else seemed bothered about what was going on.

Shortly after breakfast everyone went to the beach again. Hinata brought this up with Sonia, wondering why they were going again when they had yesterday, but she simply stared at him and told him gently that yesterday had been the trial, and asked if he was feeling alright. He was feeling less alright by the minute.

One by one, Hinata dubiously asked around, trying not to seem unsettled or nervous, what everyone had done yesterday. He received a few odd looks, but everyone told him basically the same thing — the trial, the investigation, the Despair Disease, _(everyone except Komaeda glossed over Tsumiki and the deaths. He had to listen to another rant about how un-hopeful Tsumiki’s murders were. He eventually just walked away)_ which just confused him even further. He felt lightheaded again.

Monokuma had to be doing something to cause all this. Only he had the power to create diseases and build robotic bodies for people, right? He was the only one here with the capability. If his growing suspicion was right, he knew exactly where Monokuma would be at this time of day. Half of him wished to be wrong though, but he was unfortunately proven right, heading the same way he did for his walk around the island yesterday, coming face-to-face with Monokuma. Well, not literally, because he had to stare down at him...

“Woah, Hinata!” Monokuma yelled in apparent surprise, though Hinata knew he’d seen him coming, “Give a bear some warning next time! Ya could’ve _killed_ me!”

He wished he had. Too bad it was against the rules to punch him. “You were staring right at me when I came over here though.” Hinata deadpanned. Monokuma twirled his paws around and shuffled his feet, like he was some nervous schoolgirl speaking to his crush.

“Awww, but I’m more the type to admire from afar.” He pouted, and Hinata genuinely considered breaking the rules and punching him. He didn’t, though. He was already regretting it.

“Can I ask you something?” Hinata said instead, just wanting to get this over with.

“I don’t know, _can_ you?”

Yes, yes he can. “What’s the theme of the next island you’re setting up?”

“Now why would I ever tell you that?” He said happily, swinging his arms, “Didn’t I already tell you this morning? I would _never_ reveal something so important ahead of my plans! Geez, do you have memory loss or something?”

Hinata thought he’d just accidentally hit gold. Monokuma was asking if he had memory loss. That’s what was happening to everyone else, right? Hinata was sure of it.Maybe Monokuma was secretly testing him, wondering if Hinata’s memory was gone too. He must’ve drawn too much suspicion to himself... Hinata stared at Monokuma, wondering if he’d said that by accident or not, wondering if he’d see the surprise on his face... but Monokuma didn’t look any different than he usually did. He must be a great actor then, Hinata told himself. Stupid smug bear.

“No?” Hinata said, lifting his voice up at the end to make it seem like a question. If he’d made Monokuma suspicious of him, then he needed to act like everyone else did to draw him away.

Monokuma chuckled, “Oh yeah, I totally forgot that you already did. How about the two of us go beat up Monomi? It’s not against the rules! You can go beat her up in a vain attempt to retrieve your school memories. Cmon Hinata! It’ll be romantic.”

“Think I’ll pass on that one.” Hinata mumbled, feeling tireder and tireder the longer this exchange went on. His comment suddenly struck an idea in Hinata’s head though, “Um, do you know where Monomi is, actually? Maybe I’ll go warn her or something.” He said, aiming to sound nonchalant. He wasn’t sure Monokuma would buy it.

“If you did that it would ruin all the fun!” Monokuma said, sighing loudly, “Though I can’t find her anyway, my poor, _poor_ sister, all alone and lost without her big brother.”

Hinata suppressed a smile of triumph and instead grumbled in annoyance. Huh, that was strange. Hinata kept up the conversation, despite his newfound suspicions, then turned around and left. Yes, that was quite strange...

Monokuma didn’t mention anything about how he’d asked the same thing yesterday. That was strange, because earlier he had asked about the next island, like he had this morning, and Monokuma had called him out for that. Maybe it would be suspicious if he’d mentioned that to Hinata... he wasn’t sure. It was difficult to wrap his head around all this.

He needed to take his mind off this. It was slowly consuming him.

Though what to do when you could anticipate where everyone would be, what everyone would do, what everyone would _think_ based on his knowledge from yesterday made him surprisingly agitated.

This nightmare had only just started, but Hinata already wished it would end.

* * *

The purpose of time held no meaning towards Hinata anymore.

Five days had gone by and Hinata had only managed to conclude a couple of things; one, that he was wrong about his theory on memory loss, and two, that he was alone in this. He was alone in figuring this out, and he was alone in dealing with the stress of it.

He had been so sure that this was all memory loss that he used it as an excuse for practically everything. It kept his sanity in check, sure, but when he began to think about it, that answer didn’t at all make sense. If everyone was suffering from memory loss, then why was the weather always the same? There had been that rare occasion on the first day where the sky had been a startling grey, but afterwards it was always crystal blue, it was always the same breeze, the sun would set at exactly the same time at the end of each day, it was all the same. Too perfect, even for this island.

When he started thinking about that, he noticed even more things to disprove his theory — everyone would always say the same things to him, the same events would always happen, the same choices were always made. If it was truely memory loss, people might still make different choices... no, this felt different, somehow.

It was so... _repetitive._ And thats when it hit him. He dropped his orange juice.

It was time. Under some miraculous circumstance, he was looping this same day over and over.

As much as it was strange, Hinata was sure he wasn’t in any immediate danger just yet. Nothing particularly unusual has happened to him, he’s just woken up, gone through this day again, and gone to sleep again.

Maybe he was supposed to be _doing_ something, he pondered one morning, pulling on his shirt and walking towards breakfast again. The problem was, he wasn’t sure where to start... it was all so confusing for him alone. In trials he was always the one leading the conversations, or steering them in the right direction, but if he had no one to lead, no one to bounce his theories off of, then what was he supposed to do, exactly? He felt like someone had just thrown a wrench in his cog works, or perhaps they’d just removed them all entirely. Hinata wiped his forehead in growing frustration — he hated feeling so... _lost._ So alone, despite being surrounded by all his friends.

He’d already proved that knowledge didn’t carry over for anyone but himself. He had tested that by telling Souda the same thing three days in a row, and yet not remembering when Hinata would query him the next day. Why only he could remember each loop was a mystery to him. He was still trying not to freak out.

“Good...” Hinata heard someone begin, and he knew immediately it was Komaeda; he always ran into him each morning, on the way to breakfast, “Morning... Hinata-kun...?”

Furrowing his brows, Hinata stared over at Komaeda, who was watching him in cynical confusion. Every morning, Komaeda had always been cheerful in greeting him. He always had a smile, unlike now, where he looked so befuddled. Komaeda frowned, and Hinata was about to voice his concerns, when it all suddenly vanished. Komaeda was smiling at him again.

“Hinata-kun!” He said in his chipper tone of voice, throwing Hinata off-guard. “I’m sorry, I forgot what we were talking about, haha. It would be too much to ask you to enlighten me, so we should choose a new topic to speak about.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Hinata asked immediately, because Komaeda was looking paler then he usually did.

“Ah, yes. I just got this wave of nausea, nothing to concern yourself with, I’m feeling a lot better now.” He said, smiling sweetly. Hinata found himself smiling back, just to satisfy Komaeda, while his thoughts all muddled together. They walked together in silence.

This time, Hinata insisted on sitting with Komaeda at breakfast. He usually always sat with Chiaki, but Hinata’s curiosity was spiked. So far everything had gone as the first day did, unless Hinata chose otherwise, and this sudden difference in behaviour from Komaeda, even if just for a moment was enough for Hinata to investigate. If he was using the logic he was following, if Komaeda had been unwell on the first day, then he’d always be unwell, right? But when Hinata saw him each morning he always looked fine.He’ll hang around Komaeda for today, just to see if anything else happens. It’s not like he has anything else to do.

“Why are you sitting with me?” Komaeda said curiously, taking a small sip of his tea. Hinata found it amusing that he’d stuck his pinky finger out when he had done that.

He was lucky he had the perfect excuse, although he was certain he didn’t need it, not when it came to Komaeda. “To make sure you eat. We don’t want you fainting.”

“That’s very considerate of you, but I assure you I’m alright now. I’m not sure what happened.” He said, rubbing his temple with the palm of his hand. Hinata gulped down his coffee.

“Try,” Hinata began, hiccuping after the word; Komaeda’s smile quirked up into something much more genuine, “Eating something, so it doesn’t happen again.”

“I don’t think that will help.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Komaeda huffed, then shoved some toast into his mouth. He stared at Hinata in a silent protest. Hinata pretended to be interested in the scratch marks along the table.

“What type of tea are you drinking?” He said, opting to start another conversation between them.

Komaeda’s eyes flitted down to his cup, which he was now holding with two hands, “Chamomile.” Was his answer, a calm smile creeping its way onto his face. “It helps me sleep, and I’m particularly fond of the taste. Would you like to try some?”

He offered his cup to Hinata, starting to slide it across the table to him, but Hinata shook his head, “Nah, I just had coffee, my taste buds are fucked.” Hinata told him, and Komaeda actually laughed at that, taking his cup back. It was always nice when Komaeda was calm like this... it reminded him of the boy he’d first met when arriving to this island. He wasn’t sure how long it’d last for though before he started being... weird, again. His strangeness was kind-of endearing at times, albeit. It’s the Komaeda he’d come to know.

“I wonder,” Komaeda began conversationally, when he was halfway through his tea _(why did he take such small sips?)_ “What catastrophe will happen today, after spending my breakfast with you, Hinata-kun.”

“Who knows.” Hinata mumbled, knocking the remains of his coffee back. He’s going to need every last drop today, he’s sure of it.

Komaeda hummed pleasantly, “Yes, who does?”

Hinata grinned. He did, that’s who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Press [F] to pay respects to Hinata’s orange juice.
> 
> You can find and yell at me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


	4. theater for two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I’m back yeeyeeyeye-  
> Next chapter haha hi. Thanks for all the kudos, reads and comments! Yes, even you ghost readers, I reach out and appreciate you too ^^ this chapter is more of a filler and relationship build so O///O hope you enjoy!!

* * *

Komaeda stared at him with his arms crossed. He would’ve looked intimidating if he wasn’t — well —  _ Komaeda_ _._ To Hinata, he looked winsome when he was trying to pout, like a small, angry puppy. Maybe that was the point.

“I don’t think this is a very good idea.” Komaeda was telling him again, his head tilted towards the ground and his shoulders slumping, trodding slowly after him. Hinata was overcome with the sudden desire to pat him. He was sure Komaeda was doing this on purpose now — he had the frail, delicate look about him, with innocent eyes and a cheerful, polite smile. Hinata knew better than to be pulled in by that facade now. Komaeda was definitely dangerous, that’s for sure.

He was pulled from his thoughts as he saw the Movie Theater enter his sights. “Neither, but we’re still hanging out anyway.” He replied, as he watched Komaeda clench and unclench his hands from within his jacket’s pockets. He seemed morally conflicted, but Hinata was determined to spend this day with him, to see if Komaeda acts odd again, or if he notices any glaring changes. He also just felt like some popcorn.

He’s never spent a day yet with Komaeda in this time loop, _(that was still such a weird thing to admit he was in, but the evidence lined up)_ so he was fascinated to see how this would all play out. His plans were to take Komaeda to go watch a movie; it was a perfect way to subtly observe him, draws back their need to communicate often, and he recalls Komaeda once mentioning in passing that he’d always really wanted to see a movie with someone. The claim was subdued and well-hidden, layered heavily with deprecating claims and self-bullying, but Hinata managed to grasp the overall message — Komaeda craved a friend. Someone he could share something as simple as a movie experience with. It made his heart hurt, so he was going to literally throw Komaeda into that cinema with him, give him popcorn, and make him watch a godamn movie.

Hinata hadn’t told Komaeda where they were going yet, but he was sure he figured it out when they walked into the lobby for the Theater. He hoped he had, anyway. 

“Get some popcorn.” Hinata said, but when Komaeda simply stared at him, hands tucked neatly behind his back and wide eyes, Hinata worried for a moment that Komaeda  _ didn’t actually  _ want to spend time with him. Maybe he was pushing him to do something he didn’t want to do. Komaeda shuffled his foot along the floor nervously, and he wondered if he’d come off as too harsh, so as a last thought he hastily added, “Er, please?”

“Yes, okay.” Komaeda said airily, recollecting himself swiftly. He didn’t protest as he paced over to the counter, seeming a bit dazed. It troubled Hinata at first, but when Komaeda turned around and practically skipped back over a couple of minutes later his growing doubts faded him. He’d never seen him look so...  _ real.  _ So alive, no masks around him, and the thought froze him to his roots.

He didn’t know if he should be scared, knowing he had so much of Komaeda’s trust.

“I got you Caramel,” Said Komaeda quietly, like he’d been scared to make the choice for him. “I saw you pick this flavour yesterday, when you went to watch the _Wizard of Monomi,_ but ah — hopefully we won’t have to deal with that  _monstrosity_ this time.” Komaeda’s face flickered into something of pure anger briefly, and Hinata honestly couldn’t blame him. He’d hated it just as much. His anger was still lingering when Komaeda spoke again, but otherwise the change of tone was so sudden Hinata’s brain got whiplash from how pleasant it abruptly was. “I know there are a variety of other selections, I was taking a look at them yesterday.”

Hinata rubbed his eye, taking the Caramel flavoured popcorn out of Komaeda’s outstretched arms. He wasn’t sure if drinks were available, but since Komaeda hadn’t come back with any he was assuming there wasn’t. Bummer, his mouth was going to be dry.

“Hinata-kun.” Komaeda spoke up, cutting his woes of dehydration off, “A quick question, if you don’t mind me asking; do you find it strange, being here now? Or do you feel unsettled, perhaps? The events that transpired yesterday won’t lift lightly from everyone’s minds.”

It took Hinata a second longer than it should’ve to remember what Komaeda was talking about. “I guess so, since the Theater here was used as the motive, but—“ Hinata then stopped himself, his mind supplying the sentence of  _ but since you’re here, it’s fine.  _ Yeah, he definitely wasn’t saying that. He wasn’t sure how Komaeda would react, anyway. “—Er, but it’s fine. Doesn’t bother me that much.”

“I see. That’s good... yes... so you decide to ignore your despairs, shunter them aside, instead of facing them head on? Does it create a sense of security for you, Hinata-kun? To battle your woes some other day?”

“Yes.” Hinata said, deciding not to beat around the bush or lie, “Yes, it does. Do you want to go in now?” He added, knocking his head in a quick movement to gesture towards the Theater door. He wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation with Komaeda right now.

“Oh! Yes, I’m sorry — we should — yes, go in now.” Komaeda huffed out in one breath of air, looking abruptly flustered about the mere _thought_ of being in the same premise with  just  Hinata. Rolling his eyes, Hinata pressed his shoulder against the door to open it, holding it out for Komaeda as he shuffled past him.

The Theater looked the same as it did yesterday, Hinata noted, as he walked to the front of the cinema, surveying the seats. Komaeda climbed through to the back row, looking over at Hinata, silently asking if these seats were okay, and Hinata nodded, working his way there himself. He sat down in the closest seat to his current location, feeling incredibly conscious, while Komaeda tentatively sat in the seat beside him. Komaeda rested his own, considerably smaller mound of popcorn in between his thighs, while he began fishing something out of his jacket pocket.

“What would you like to watch?” Komaeda asked kindly, fiddling with a small device in his hands. Hinata assumed it was the monitor for the screen, so he let Komaeda play around with it for a while, until it was being placed in his own hands suddenly, with Komaeda rocking his feet and pointing to the options provided.

“There’s not much for selections, but I’ve managed to narrow some of the options down — there’s history, romance, horror, fantasy, thriller, and sci-fi — the names of the films aren’t listed, unfortunately. Haha, what would you like to pick, Hinata-kun? I’m perfectly fine to go with whatever you chose, it’s already such a gift to just be here with you anyway. I’m sure some distant relative of you or me just passed away, haha.”

“Don’t say that.” Hinata frowned, scrolling his way through the options provided. Komaeda was right about the names of the films not being shown, they were just labeled as  _ fantasy _or _history._ Hinata threw some popcorn in his mouth. “How about a horror? I mean, it’s not like we get any sleep around here anyway.”

Komaeda nodded, and so Hinata clicked the option  _ horror  _ and slid the device between his legs, leaning back and shovelling more popcorn into his mouth.

Hinata hadn’t been expecting much anyway. After all, hardly anything on this island was meant to  _really_ bring them happiness. The film itself was quite bland with predictable plot points, cheesy jump scares, so Hinata stopped bothering to pay attention, his brain focused on the white-haired male beside him, crunching slowly on his own popcorn and gasping every so often. It was strange how animated Komaeda was, Hinata thought, casting his eyes over to him once again as Komaeda laughed at a terrible joke the lead just said to break the tension. He’d definitely need to spend the next day doing this again, just in case he didn’t pick up on anything. Not the movie though, that was terrible. He’ll need to choose something else.

It was then, quite close to the movie’s conclusion, that Komaeda acted — well...  _ strange.  _ Strange for him, that is.

The main characters were in a tight pinch with the antagonistic creature, jumping up much more frequently and chasing them all down hallways, blood leaking from his mouth as the characters screamed. An eleven year old him would probably find this terrifying, but he couldn’t bring himself to take this movie seriously, so he simply grinned and glanced over at Komaeda, who was watching the screen like a girl getting mauled before his eyes was something enrapturing. There was a brief moment though when he caught Komaeda jumping out of his skin and clinging to his armrest at a particularly gruesome moment, and he worried if maybe this film was too much, or if the whole point was to inflict them with nightmares. Hinata frowned. He didn’t want Komaeda to be terrorised.

In a brief moment of deliberation, Hinata sighed and flung up the armrest between him and Komaeda. He’d unfortunately done it too agressively, because Komaeda jumped again at the sudden movement and stared at Hinata worryingly. Hinata sighed again heavily, his emotions about Komaeda in conflict, as he slid over and patted Komaeda on the arm, unintentionally causing him to jump again. He really wasn’t very good at this, was he?

Komaeda opened his mouth to speak, but an abhorrent cry from the lead as someone got decapitated successfully shut him up, and his hands immediately latched onto Hinata’s arm without so much as a second thought. He prepared for Komaeda to gasp out an apology or pull himself off Hinata, but it never came, and instead Komaeda clung on tighter like Hinata’s arm was the only thing that ever mattered to him. At a loss of what to do or what to say, Hinata opted to simply stare down at his popcorn, hoping it held the answers he was currently pondering in his head. It didn’t. He threw some more in his mouth.

He wouldn’t count this as abnormal behaviour for Komaeda, but it was certainly different from what he was used to. Komaeda must have a goal here. That was the only explanation he could come up with. Should he be worried? He wasn’t certain just yet... scared? Maybe, Komaeda was definitely terrifying when he wanted to be. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling content though instead, with Komaeda grappled to his arm, the horror movie becoming more of a pitiful background noise than something of interest, inside the Theater that assisted in the death of three of his friends. Oh yeah, he’d also forgotten; he was in some weird fucking time loop. Perhaps he’d finally gone insane.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said, his voice deeper and much breathier then before. “You know... now might be the opportune time to kill me.”

Hinata took a couple of seconds to ponder on if punching Komaeda would be a good idea right about now. He decided against it. “We’re not having this conversation again.” He replied stiffly, keeping his eyes on the screen. They lapsed into silence for a brief moment, and Hinata hoped that was the end of it, but Komaeda was speaking again.

“Kuzuryu-kun and Tanaka-kun heard you mention we were heading off to the Theater after breakfast, though I doubt that they paid much attention to that, so no one knows we’re here. It would be  _perfect,_ Hinata-kun! I’m right here, grovelling at your feet like the wretched flea I am, doesn’t that irritate you?” He then gripped his arm tighter, and Hinata turned just in time to see the madness in his eyes before he buried his face into his shoulder. He was trying to piss him off, Hinata concluded, so he kept his expression steady. Komaeda’s words were muffled now. “Don’t you want to push me away? I’m so repulsive, Hinata-kun, so  _ selfish,  _ can’t you see — you spend so much time with me, time that I don’t deserve and it  _worries_ me that my luck will cause you misfortune one of these days, so the easiest solution is for you to end this — however you like, I’ll go with anything you like — you’ll be safe, and free of me — everyone will be safe again with me gone—“

“I’m not doing that, Komaeda.” Hinata told him calmly before Komaeda burrowed deeper down his rabbit hole. He felt anger bubble up and into his throat, but he swallowed it down in favour of handling this correctly, “And I don’t hate you — I don’t particularly _like_ you either, but... I can stand you, and I can withstand your luck too. I have so far, and I’m not dead yet.”

“But for how long?” Komaeda said, lifting his head up to hold Hinata’s gaze. The film had just ended, but neither of them had noticed yet. “What if, in the next couple of seconds, you die? What if  _I_ kill you?”

“You’re not going to kill me.” Said Hinata with conviction. His arm was starting to hurt now with how tight Komaeda was squeezing it. “Actually I take that back, you might kill me with how tightly you’re gripping my arm.”

Komaeda sat up straighter and retracted his hands, leaving Hinata’s arm feeling free and light. He could move it, wow, freedom felt great. Komaeda had a small smile on his face as he spoke, “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun. It was never my intention to cut off your blood-flow.”

“It’s okay.” Hinata decided. He was going to let that one slide. Komaeda was just being Komaeda, thats all.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Komaeda swayed in his seat, his eyes fixated on Hinata’s arm. “I’m so lucky.” He mumbled, nibbling on his lower lip. Hinata swindled with the remote in an attempt to turn the film off, ignoring Komaeda’s fervent gaze and indecisive mumbling. He managed to unfortunately catch Komaeda saying, “Hinata-kun has such strong arms... yes, this is so —  _ hopeful,  _ aha.”

Hinata dropped the remote into his half-finished popcorn.

* * *

The first thing he and Komaeda did after exiting the Theater was head to the diner. He was so fucking thirsty, Jesus Christ.

Komaeda slid into a booth and Hinata joined him with two glasses of lemonade, sliding one across the table to Komaeda, who took it gratefully and downed the glass faster then even Hinata did. He tipped his own back and triumphantly placed it back down, laughing with Komaeda as he swiped both their glasses to go fetch some more. The two of them proceeded to down glasses of lemonade as if they were drinking shots, the ordeal turning into a friendly competition of who could drink more the quickest. Hinata won in the end, the two of them wheezing for air as they observed their empty glasses. His emotions towards Komaeda were complicated, but in moments like these it was easy to believe he and Komaeda were truly friends.

“It seems you’ve bested me,” Komaeda hummed, rubbing his forehead. “It’s to be expected. I can hardly compare to someone like you.”

“Don’t think that matters much. You had fun, didn’t you?” Said Hinata, wondering briefly what the time was; he was sure it was the early afternoon, but it had felt so much longer, and yet it’d gone so fast.

Komaeda’s lip curled upwards into the start of a smile, “Yes... I guess I did.”

Hinata enjoyed the comfortable silence that stretched between them. For some reason, it felt much more refreshing then the lemonade did. Komaeda still had his hand pressed against his forehead, and Hinata didn’t think much of it until Komaeda winced.

“Are you alright?” Hinata questioned, because Komaeda was staring at him oddly again like he had this morning, like he’d just come to a terrible realisation. The look lapsed a shiver down his spine.

“I — yes, I’m okay.” Komaeda said quickly, but he looked the complete opposite; he was much paler than usual like he was this morning, holding his head in his hands and flinching when Hinata stood up opposite him, “I must of drunk too much, I’ll be okay — _ah.”_ He cut off suddenly when Hinata sat down beside him, fidgeting at the close proximity. Hinata watched as the storm lifted from his eyes, and Komaeda was smiling at him again.

“What... oh! Hinata-kun! I didn’t see you move over here... that’s strange, what were we talking about again?” He exclaimed, nonplussed. Hinata stared.

“Do you seriously not remember what we were talking about?” Hinata asked curiously, furrowing his brows as Komaeda shook his head, looking much lighter and... well, more  _colourful_ for Komaeda. He was always so frighteningly pale, it was a wonder how he didn’t get sunburnt.

“I’m sorry Hinata-kun!” Komaeda said desperately, obviously believing he’d done something wrong, “I understand that talking to me can be so irritating at times, so if you want I’ll go—“

Hinata slumped down against the booth. Komaeda’s moods were so difficult to understand. “No, just — just be quiet. Actually no, tell me — was that the same as this morning? Then be quiet.”

“I think so... but please don’t waste your concern. You’re far too kind to me already.” He murmured, but it didn’t sound like he was trying to convince him of that, like he always did. His tone was defeated.

_You deserve kindness, like everyone_ _else_ Hinata thought, as he glanced out of the window as Komaeda started speaking again,  _ but sometimes you deserve a real good kick to the guts, too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one:  
> Komaeda: Hinata-kun’s arms~ are so~ nice~~
> 
> You can find and yell at me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


	5. all we see is sky (for forever)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters here! Sorry that its been a while. Like i’ve said before I get distracted easily. Also yes the chapter title is a dear evan hansen reference shush lmao- this chapter is pretty short but all well, some chapters will be shorter and some more important chapters will be longer. The next one is gonna be pretty important so woohoo??
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!

* * *

“Do you want some juice, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda asked, approaching him cautiously while holding a wide variety of juice boxes. Now, Hinata would’ve questioned him on this, on why exactly Komaeda was currently holding enough juice boxes to properly hydrate Hinata for three days straight, but the thought was beyond even his own comprehension. Why did he have so many fucking juice boxes?

“Um, sure.” Said Hinata carefully, sitting up and picking the very first and most easily accessible box from Komaeda’s arms. _“Why_ do you have so many of these?” He decided to ask, voicing his query to Komaeda, who just simply smiled and collapsed onto the sand beside him, sighing and piling the multitude of juice boxes up in his lap.

Komaeda picked a juice up at random and began opening it, “I wasn’t sure what flavour you would like.”

“You could’ve _asked_ me.”

“I didn’t want to bother you with such an unnecessary question.”

Huffing, Hinata violently struck the straw into his juice box. The two of them had missed the beach party the others had held, and Hinata, wanting to spend as much time with Komaeda as possible, managed to worm him into spending the evening with him before dinner, saying it was to _‘make up’_ for them missing it earlier with the rest of their class _(Hinata’s been to it enough times already to know what happens, but thats beside the point)._

“The sky is always so nice here, isn’t it?” Komaeda said, sighing dreamily into the short silence that followed. “So nice and yet so _perfect_ that it loses the beauty of it, after a while. Staring at the same, starry sky day after day makes the glow feel... dull.”

He stared out into the ocean, absorbing Komaeda’s words. He knew he was right; the delicate shine of the water looked too familiar to be fully appreciated anymore. Especially for him. “It’s still pretty.” Began Hinata reticently, drawing his gaze back to the land, “Just not to us anymore... well, not to me. I’m not so sure about you, but everything looks the same to me now. Nothing’s beautiful anymore. Or maybe it is, but I just can’t appreciate it.”

Komaeda hummed, “A lot of things have lost its beauty.” He said, and unbeknownst to Hinata, who was staring out into the ocean, locks of his hair puffing delicately in the light breeze, Komaeda’s eyes flittered to him, “But I can still be grateful for the small things... that will always stay perfect to me. Even if I don’t deserve them, they will always carry a soft, radiant light that I will endlessly admire. A light that I will always follow, and guide when I can, so they can shine even brighter. Reach the highest of heights, and if they fall down, I will help them for evermore. Beauty as strong and rare as that never fades, does it?”

“Now _that’s_ beautiful.” Hinata told him, smiling — he was half-proud that Komaeda hadn’t said anything _(particularly)_ weird, and that he’d understood the point Komaeda was trying to make this time. At his words, Komaeda’s ears went pink and Hinata couldn’t seem to fathom exactly why he looked so embarrassed.

Taking another sip of his drink, he felt a calm, warming peace settle over his shoulders. Komaeda? Making him feel at _ease?_ Things were growing stranger with each passing day. Or not. Because the days weren’t actually _passing,_ Hinata harshly reminded himself. Right, he’d invited Komaeda here for a reason, after all.

“Komaeda, can I ask you something?” Said Hinata, holding onto his empty juice box, worrying to place it down beside him just in case he violated the _no littering policy_ rule. He wasn’t sure that it would, but he’d rather be safe then sorry.

“Of course you can, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda replied buoyantly, fiddling with his hands skittishly, casting his eyes to Hinata and providing him with his undivided attention. Hinata tried not to think on how eager Komaeda sounded. “I’m quite relieved you were the one to instigate the conversation again; I’m running out of topic ideas... perhaps we should take that as a sign to part ways for the day... you’ve spent an _unthinkable_ amount of time with someone like me today. You must be tired.”

_I’m always tired_ Hinata thought absentmindedly, sighing. “I don’t mind really. I’m fine spending time with you.” Was his answer, which sounded much more truthful then he intended it to be. Fuck.

_“Hinata-kun,”_ Komaeda said desperately, “You’ve spent — spent the _whole day with me.”_

“My poor choices are mine to make.” Hinata told him, stretching his arms up above his head to ward off the incoming cramps forming in his shoulders. He felt Komaeda’s eyes trail over him when he closed his eyes and he momentarily forgot his question for Komaeda in the first place. He rubbed his temples. “Anyway Komaeda, question; have you noticed anything... weird, going on lately? Weirder than usual.” He added quickly as an afterthought. Komaeda furrowed his brows and gave him a sceptical look.

“No, I haven’t... I’m assuming you’re not referring to the obvious?” He said, vaguely gesturing around them, to the island, the situation, everything, and Hinata shook his head. “Then... no... well, actually — they’re _might_ be something.”

“Yeah?” Hinata said avidly, hoping for some answers, or a couple of leads, at least, to Komaeda’s sudden routine-breaking headaches and nausea. He was sure this was what Komaeda was finding strange, because it had to be, it made sense—

“I was pondering this yesterday, but it seems strange to me that the weather is always so clear. I’m certain Monokuma has some influence over this, but... isn’t it odd? It’s always so warm and sunny. Why?” Komaeda pondered aloud, screeching Hinata’s thoughts to a sudden halt.

Huh, that was... different. Not what he was expecting, at least. Hinata considered brushing it off as something irrelevant to his current situation, but the memories of the first day of the loop flowed back into his mind. _Cloudy, grey skies. And then they were gone, and this loop started._

“Anything else?” He asked, hoping to pry the answer he expected from Komaeda.

“Apart from my short bursts of headaches from today,” Komaeda said, and he laughed lightly at the sentence, convinced Hinata wouldn’t care for something like that. _Oh, he did, more then Komaeda could know._ “Nothing else has been particularly bizarre.”

Hinata nodded, wondering back into his head. So it was odd to even Komaeda, huh...? Hinata had been curious if it was simply something about Komaeda himself, but he seemed to be just as clueless. Komaeda admitting it himself was what confirmed it. Now he just needed to figure out what was going on, and why — why was it just Komaeda acting different, even just slightly? Did it mean something? This was the only puzzling thing he had noticed so far...

Uncertain that something like this could even be a lead, Hinata decided to chase it anyway.

* * *

Komaeda woke up at his usual time, stretching his lanky arms over his forehead.

What a magnificent day, Komaeda told himself happily, skipping his way over to his wardrobe. What joys would the day be bringing for them? The trial had been yesterday, of course, so an array of wonderful luck would be awaiting them! The thought had Komaeda smiling ear-to-ear.

He paced over to his bathroom to take a warm shower, the towel he’d retrieved slung over his shoulder; the night had been hot, but his preference was warm showers. The heat relaxed his muscles.

Sliding on his clothes carefully, Komaeda exited his cabin and headed towards the restaurant. He always precariously timed it so he was one of the last to arrive, so the Ultimates wouldn’t be cursed by his presence for longer than necessary. Today was, unfortunately, not one of those mornings, because he luckily _(or unluckily?)_ ran into Hinata. He seemed completely unbothered when Komaeda approached him and greeted him pleasantly. A strange wave of familiarity hit him.

“You alright?” Was the first thing Hinata said, an intense look present in his eye. Komaeda shivered.

“I am, of course.” He said back in reply, and neither of them spoke again after that, Hinata opening the door for them in a practiced ease. He must be such a gentlemen if the gesture comes so absentmindedly, Komaeda thought, sighing breathily. So thoughtful. So unnecessary.

He was under the impression the two of them were going to part ways once they entered the restaurant, but Hinata followed him to his secluded seat buried away in the corner almost naturally. It surprised him, but he supposed it was to be expected — Hinata has every right to suspect him, so he must want to keep a watchful eye on his every move. He tried and failed to ignore Hinata’s intense stare while he slowly drank his tea, feeling his arm shake a little.

“Hinata-kun,” Said Komaeda, holding off the waver that wanted to creep into his words, “I know I have no right to ask this of you, but — aha, would you mind not staring at me so intensively? You’re making me nervous.”

Hinata blinked sleepily. He looked like he hadn’t slept well in days. “Oh, sorry.” He said indistinctly, rubbing his eyes. “Haven’t woken up properly yet.”

“That’s okay! If it helps, you can stare at me all you like, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said quickly, all in one breath. He bit back the rest of his sentence when Hinata shot him a look, implying he knew the thought that had just crossed his mind. Hinata always told him he hated his self-deprecating talk. Always got angry, or told him to knock it off. It baffled him, each and every time; Hinata was so compassionate to even spare a thought for him. He smiled reflexively and Hinata’s stare softened.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking about, just stop.” Hinata informed him snappily, but the affect was ruined by him shovelling bacon and eggs into his mouth.

“But I was thinking about you, Hinata-kun.” He told him, quirking his head to the side. Hinata spluttered violently, opening his mouth to reply, but a shriek from Souda drew his attention away.

Monokuma popped up out of nowhere and started whining about Monomi, or something, Komaeda didn’t really care. Hinata looked like he didn’t either, knocking back his coffee like he needed it to survive, needed it to breathe. His sudden desperation for it made Komaeda curious.

“—Nice and early tomorrow! That’s right, your great pal Monokuma is going to open up another island for you all! Aren’t I kind? You’re welcome!” Monokuma said, and Komaeda found himself rubbing his forehead at that, a thought wanting and trying to form in his head, because there was something incredibly odd at that, something familiar that he just couldn’t seem to keep a grip on, trickling out of his hands like water. His throat worked, attempting to form the words he wanted to say but he _can’t,_ he _couldn’t_ and his head—

“Didn’t...” He managed, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Didn’t you... say that same thing... yesterday?”

The pain vanished, and his head cleared in time to see Hinata’s perplexed expression, the odd looks from his classmates, and the rush of sudden glimpses of what had happened yesterday, and yet they were so similar to today — why was that? Komaeda’s head thumped.

He’d spent the day with Hinata-kun yesterday, hadn’t he? Yesterday, he’d done that _yesterday._ But hadn’t the trial been yesterday?

The room started spinning. _Why had he forgotten that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Komaeda has joined the loop]  
> [Hinata kicked Komaeda from the loop: reason - too insane]
> 
> You can find and yell at me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


	6. remembering whats forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Creeps out of the shadows and drops the next chapter here*  
> *sleeks away*
> 
> But really uh hi I have appeared once again, wrote all this in one day lets goo thanks for the motivation boost my friend (you know who you are wink wonk) but anyways, hope you like! >_<

* * *

Hinata had dragged Komaeda out of that building faster than lightning.

Questions, questions, he had so many questions — so much he wanted to say, so many answers he wanted to receive, and yet by the dazed, puzzled look on Komaeda’s face as he was lugging him along told him all he needed to know — Komaeda was confused. Komaeda didn’t seem to know what he’d said, what he’d just done to Hinata.

“Where are we going, Hinata-kun?” Said Komaeda, tumbling along after him. Hinata slowed his pace down when he saw Komaeda panting with effort to keep up, “Somewhere secluded, I’m guessing... how exhilarating... all alone with Hinata-kun.”

Hinata almost tripped over. He’ll never admit it though, since their was nothing obstructing his path, “Don’t make it weird. Just — be quiet. Follow me.”

Komaeda mimicked zipping his lips. Hinata wanted to punch him.

In reality, Hinata wasn’t entirely sure where he was taking Komaeda. He needed somewhere quiet to discuss this, but then... did it really matter? If anyone did eavesdrop accidentally, it’s not like they would remember it. They  _could_ talk about this in the open, but... well, he kind of wanted to—

“The library?” Komaeda guessed, when they started approaching the building, “An interesting choice, Hinata-kun, very secluded... but if you don’t mind me asking, why here? Do you have a significant reason that my slow brain is not catching? If so, I apologise. I’ll keep quiet now, I’m sure you have a plan.”

“I’m not  _murdering_ you in the library Komaeda, for fucks sake.” Hinata mumbled tiredly. He let go of Komaeda’s arm when they entered and folded his own, sharply spinning around to face him. “I just needed to talk to you about something. Not murder related, okay?”

Watching him with a newfound fascination, Komaeda slowly nodded his head.

He didn’t know where to start, now that he had Komaeda here and complying. He should try leading into it, explaining a bit and watching his reactions before he got Komaeda on the same page as him. Alright, he’ll try that. Hinata took a deep breath.

“Okay.” He began, determined, “Right. So, Komaeda... okay, first. Do you remember what happened yesterday?”

“Yesterday? I’m sure the two of us went to see a movie together.” Gushed Komaeda, clamping his hands together. “I had a lot of fun, Hinata-kun, but I understand if you don’t recall. I’m sure my company was forgetful.”

“It’s not that I don’t remember, it’s that  _you_ do.” Hinata explained, grabbing Komaeda’s shoulders; Komaeda startled at the sudden contact. “Think! Think back to yesterday, what were you doing?”

Komaeda was staring intensively at his eyes, Hinata noticed, while he was waiting for Komaeda to answer him. Usually Komaeda was only slightly taller than him, but right now it seemed like the light pressure of Hinata’s hands was pushing him down. He looked shorter, much more frail, almost curling in on himself.

“The — the trial.” He managed to say, and his face shifted into one of disarray. “Oh, but that seemed like yesterday too, didn’t it? I remember, and yet it seems I don’t...”

“Yeah, exactly.” Said Hinata. Now they were getting somewhere.

“Is this related to what I said this morning?” Enquired Komaeda, stepping out and away from Hinata’s hands. Oh, right, he’d forgotten about that. He was probably making Komaeda uncomfortable.

Hinata hummed, “About what you said... what was it...  _ didn’t you say that yesterday?  _ It peaked my interest, no one else has noticed this repetitive loop.”

“Repetitive loop?” Komaeda asked.

“This has been going on for a while now. Longer than you remember.” Hinata said. He was cautious of telling Komaeda everything he knew, but Komaeda was smart. The two of them could bounce their ideas off one another, which was better then nothing. He gave in. “You were acting... different, then everyone else, which is why I wanted to spend the day with you. I think this is some sort of time loop, this same day is repeating itself over and over. Everyone usually says the same stuff, remembers the same stuff. I’ve done some experiments myself, too. No one else seems to remember anything new I tell them. They all remember the trial, and everything before that, but if I — um, lets say — tell them my favourite drink or something and they clearly didn’t know it beforehand, the information doesn’t carry over. They forget completely.”

“But we all know your favourite drink, Hinata-kun, you drink it all the time,” Komaeda said teasingly, and before Hinata could comment he was waving him off, “It was an example though, I understand.”

“I haven’t tested that much out.” Hinata told him, opting to ignore his previous comment. “Half the time I’ve spent trying to wrap my head around all this—“

“Hold on. How do I know anything you’re saying is true, Hinata-kun?”

“Uh, what?”

Komaeda tapped his chin, deep in thought. “This is all very sudden, Hinata-kun; you pull me along and tell me I’ve been forgetting days that all seemed to take place yesterday, and yet you know all while no one else does? How do I know any of this is true? I haven’t experienced any of these things you claim. For all I know, today could very well be days ahead of that last trial. Where’s your proof?”

“My proof?” Hinata said, jarred. Give it to Komaeda to make things unnecessarily complicated. “Alright fine — your headaches, remember those?”

Komaeda raised his brow, “What if I told you I didn’t?”

“I know you do. You remembered that the two of us went to watch a movie.” Hinata told him firmly, pointing an accusing finger at him, “I know you remember that day.”

“And?” Komaeda said, tucking his arms behind him, rocking back and forth on his heels, leaning into Hinata’s personal space. “How does that prove anything?”

“The day you had those headaches was the same day we went to the movies.” Hinata started, his gaze fixed on Komaeda, entering his  _ I’m-about-to-prove-you-hella-wrong  _ mode. It was like the two of them were in a class trial again, but this time it was just the pair of them, just him and Komaeda, “I think you had one again this morning, but that’s irrelevant right now. The day we went to the movies was its own day, and your headaches  _only_ happened on that day. Can we agree on that?”

Komaeda was smiling at him. He didn’t like how soft it was. “Sure we can, Hinata-kun. Continue.”

“Later on we went to the beach. Keep in mind, same day. I asked you if you’d noticed anything weird going on lately, and you thought your headaches were, for one. This implies that you found them odd, that they hadn’t been happening before that day. You didn’t have any headaches like that in the class trial, so we can safely say thats one day you remember that was different. Two, you mentioned the weather; you found it strange that the weather always stayed the same on the island, right? So tell me, Komaeda,  _do_ you remember when the weather was ever different here?”

“Well,  _perhaps_ I do.” Komaeda cooed annoyingly, “Perhaps I don’t. Why would I tell you that? Aren’t  _you_ trying to convince me?”

“If you remember that, then I already have.” Hinata sniped back in the same annoying tone. “The first one is an obvious hit, you remember that. That proves there was a day in between today  _and_ the class trial that  you  remember while also remembering the trial. If you take into account what everyone has said and can recall a weather difference, then thats two days under the same principle — remembering today, remembering that day we went to the movies, and the class trial. They’re were more days in between that, but if you can remember those two,  _both_ feeling like the day after the trial, then you’ll believe me.”

Breaking out into a wide smile again, Komaeda smirked, “Of course I do, Hinata-kun. I believed you from the start.”

_You’re such a little shit,_ Hinata almost hissed, but his head was starting to hurt now, so he saved his energy. “Then why did you  _accuse_ me?”

“I had some doubts, of course, but I was mainly curious.” He said, shoving his hands into his jackets pockets and turning away from Hinata. They were still standing quite close to one another. “You can’t expect just anyone to believe a wild claim like that out of the blue, can you?”

“You seemed to.” Murmured Hinata hotly. Komaeda wasn’t  _ just anyone  _ either.

“I did. You sounded sincere.” Komaeda told him, creating some distance between them again. He walked back and leaned on a bookshelf, “So, any theories?”

“Er, theories?”

“Ideas. Suggestions. A reason as to why this is occurring. A suspect, perhaps? I wonder how Monokuma achieved this...”

“I um, don’t think it’s Monokuma actually.” Hinata said, rubbing his neck — a habit he needed to train out of himself, he figured, “He hasn’t shown any signs of remembering either. Unless he’s a great actor, which is possible.”

“We will have to keep an eye on him then.” Affirmed Komaeda, believing him easily. He always seemed to believe him when evidence was needed and refuse to when their was. He was confusing. And he was handling all this surprisingly well, actually, which made Hinata jealous — he’d been freaking out for days upon days, and yet Komaeda could take the information easily without so much as batting an eye. From what he’s heard, Komaeda has gone through some weird stuff though. It was probably normal for him now.

Hinata suddenly recalled something he thought was worth bringing up, “Hey, how much do you remember about your headaches? The ones you had on that day we went to the cinema.”

“Not much...” Komaeda answered, sounding lost, “My memory’s a bit... foggy. I remember having them, just not...  _ when.  _ Sorry, Hinata-kun...”

“That’s alright, don’t worry.” Hinata said, because Komaeda sounded so genuine and pained suddenly that it made Hinata’s heart ache. Usually he would of regretted his words after he’d found out his stupid mouth had actually  said them, but for once he found himself truely meaning them. “You only had two — one in the morning when we crossed paths, which I noticed and decided to investigate, and the other one when we went into the diner.”

“We went into the  _ diner?”  _ Komaeda gasped.

Hinata’s heart sank, just a little.

“Do you not remember that?”

Komaeda frowned and shook his head. Hinata sadly found it a bit ironic; the one time he found himself having _fun_ with Komaeda was the one time he forgot.

Komaeda must of noticed his expression, because he pushed himself off the bookcase and uncrossed his arms, “I’m sure I thoroughly enjoyed myself, Hinata-kun! I don’t remember it specifically, but... I remember having fun. What did we do, exactly?”

“We drank lemonade like shots.” Hinata told him, a nostalgic feeling passing through him despite this only occurring yesterday, “It turned into a competition. It was fun.”

“I’m sure I lost.” Said Komaeda, while Hinata silently answered with a grin. “But I’m glad you enjoyed yourself in my company.”

“I’m glad  _ you  _ enjoyed yourself.” Hinata said before he could stop himself, finding himself smiling.

“Oh — yes, well,” The beginnings of a flush worked its way onto the pale boys face, “I always adore your company anyway.”

“Really?” Hinata said, his smile breaking out into a grin almost wolfish, prowling over to Komaeda in three mighty steps, “You always tell me that but you never explain.”

“I-I’m—“ Komaeda spluttered, reveling in the sudden close proximity. He collected himself hastily. “It’s as simple as it sounds. I very much enjoy being in your presence, despite how much I know I don’t deserve it, but you see — I’m very selfish, Hinata-kun. I’m selfish, I’ve been very selfish lately, taking up all your time, causing you to fret and worry uselessly. You’re such a kind person, Hinata-kun... so kind... even now...”

Backing off, Hinata tilted his head. Komaeda was mumbling incoherently now, wrapping his arms around himself, swaying lightly where he stood. While Hinata’s brain was slowly connecting the dots, Komaeda spiralled down into his own strange world again.

When he was ready, Hinata poked his arm to gain his attention, “Komaeda, why do you always do that?” He asked, as Komaeda blinked over owlishly, like he hadn’t just been muttering to himself, “I mean, I know you’re weird — no shit there, but I’m noticing some sort of... pattern. Every time I’m near or touching you, you seem to sort of panic, and do...” He wildly gestured to Komaeda’s figure in general, _“...This.”_

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Komaeda said, but the breathiness enveloped in his voice refuted his words — he didn’t sound sorry at all. “It’s just, you get so very close to me, and... it makes me really happy... I’m not sure how to react... people don’t really... but you’re different...”

Huh... so, it was like a defence mechanism, then? “We’ll have to work on that.”

“Okay!” Said Komaeda. He sounded very thrilled at the idea.

“Right. Well, you probably want to go off and do other stuff... whatever it is you do.” Hinata added quickly, “So — yeah, guess we’ll talk later?”

“Yeah.” Komaeda buzzed, still looking very flushed. He was staring at Hinata like he had hung up the moon and the stars with his own two hands, and the look caused Hinata to jitter on his feet.

“Oh, wait.” Hinata motioned when Komaeda started to turn away. His feet were starting to hurt from all this standing around he was doing, and he suddenly felt extremely restless, walking over to the bookshelf Komaeda had previously been leaning against.

Komaeda hummed out a sweet  _ Yes, Hinata-kun?  _ and shuffled over as well. Hinata noticed he kept his distance.

Hinata opened his mouth, but closed it again when no words came out. He gnawed on his lip, debating. He knew what he wanted to say, but bringing himself to say it was another thing altogether. His hands clenched around thin air.

“Um, Komaeda...” He started with a steady voice, “Listen, if you... well, if you don’t remember tomorrow, or any of this... I just — look, you’re my friend, okay? Even if half the time I find you batshit crazy, or just plain weird, you’re somehow still my friend, and I want to learn more about you. And I want you to know that, even if you forgot.”

But, surprisingly, instead of what he expected, Hinata was met with a sad smile plastered on Komaeda’s face, “Why are you telling me this if you think I’m going to forget? Do you not want me to remember?”

“I  _want_ you to remember, thats why I’m telling you.” 

“Oh... well, that’s nice of you... Hinata-kun, so unnecessarily kind...” Komaeda sighed dreamily, his smile turning warmer. “Perhaps, maybe, I’ll remember today. Then maybe tomorrow, then the day after. Maybe it’ll be forgotten, and today will be only for your memory.”

And for the first time since Hinata had met him, Hinata hoped he would remember, because he didn’t wish to be alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find and yell at me on:  
> Twitter: [faithistic](https://mobile.twitter.com/faithistic)  
> Discord: faith#7991


End file.
